Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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