ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
