handjob tips. give me some.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
