we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
