im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
