I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize