Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
it glows. i had to have it.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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