I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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