My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
