he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I did not marry a roomba.
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