i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
