Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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