Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
