two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
