You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
