his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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