This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
