you traded sex for a burrito?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize