You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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