He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
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