Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
