I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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