Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
