Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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