My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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