I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
