I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize