fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
