I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
