Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
