I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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