Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
