areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
