He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
