I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Can I color on your dick again?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
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