do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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