hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
