I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He felt like a one man threesome
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
