me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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