You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
