I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
