Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Randomize
