She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
