he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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