When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
