i jhust puked up my retainher.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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