brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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