Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Randomize
