I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you guys were way drunker than both of me
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
