Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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