She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
