Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
