her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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