Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
