I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
