I puked a lego.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
